Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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