some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
