the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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