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what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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