I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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