i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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