this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
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