Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
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You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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