He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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