You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
