She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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