I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
