We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.