how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol