Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?