so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
