shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
what day is it and did you see me today?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize