Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.