As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
