I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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