if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
