I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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