she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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