she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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