you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
