Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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