You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
