he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
