just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
