It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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