he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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