are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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