I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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