Cold hands, warm shart.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
