Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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