My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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