I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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