It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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