I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
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