I skipped work to stalk him.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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