Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
