You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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