Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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