At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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