This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
