I feel great
I just peed on a car
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
