I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
