I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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