Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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