I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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