he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
