I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
