Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
