I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
