I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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