Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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