I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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