trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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