DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
