Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
