do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
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A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
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I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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