Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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