and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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