there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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