I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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