she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
