So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
