what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
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